​​The Cambridge Dictionary defines ‘heart-to-heart’ as ‘a serious conversation between two people, usually close friends, in which they talk honestly about their feelings.’ Would you agree that having a good heart to heart with someone can potentially shift your whole life to a different level?
 
I would like to give this term a new twist today. Simply because this morning, as I finished my regular visit to my chiropractor (doctor’s orders after my recent illness), he gave me a heartfelt (or so I sensed) hug. A good heart-to-heart hug, not taking into account the difference in height, wishing me a happy Christmas and New Year. Then as I was leaving the practice, his lovely receptionist gave me a long heartfelt hug as well. Now, these hugs were totally unexpected, prompting me to write to you today. AND Boy did I feel great! I felt elated, surprised, confident, loved, acknowledged and these are only some of the emotions that I can think of right now. You’ll notice that NONE of these emotions are negative.
 
Now, some people are huggers and others aren’t, wouldn’t you agree? If you are a hugger like me, you will be able to sense when the person you are hugging is a hugger not. You can sense it on an energetic level and you can also tell by their physiology, their stance, whether they return the hug, etc. In my family and circle of friends there are huggers and non-huggers, so I’d like to think of myself an expert on sensing it J. In my business communities and when I run workshops, I sometimes hug. I’d love to hug everybody. Other times, I get a sense that maybe it is not the right thing to do – it wouldn’t be welcome.
 
When I decided I want to write about this today, I decided to ‘google’ (no more dictionaries or encyclopedias these days!) the benefits of hugging. I did have a fair idea that there would be enormous and numerous benefits to our health and wellbeing. I must say though, that I was pleasantly surprised to find sooooo many benefits. It would only be fitting to share some of them with you here. I sourced the information from theheartsite.com and mindbodygreen.com. There are numerous other sources and I invite you to do your own research if you like.
All of us should know what it means ‘to hug’, it is defined as ‘squeeze someone tightly in one’s arms, typically to express affection’.
 
Here are 10 benefits of a really really good ‘heart-to-heart’ hug.
 
∞ A hug can uplift your mood, double your joy and instill feelings of confidence to conquer the world.
Exactly the emotions I experienced when I got this heartfelt hug this morning – how cool is that?!
∞ Check this one: you expend 12 calories with each hug.
Yoohoo – no more dieting ever J - just go on a hugging spree.
∞ The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and gives you a sense of safety.
∞ A hug aids in opening up and honest communication.
This may be the start of a really honest heart-to-heart conversation, you think? One where you are truly heard and able to express your feelings and concerns.
∞ A hug provides emotional support and relieves stress naturally.
∞ A proper deep hug (heart-to-heart) can ease sickness, disease, loneliness, depression.
Imagine mental illness sufferers are given proper deep hugs by their health carer, now that would be something wouldn’t it.
∞ Hugs strengthen the immune system – less colds, flu….
‘An apple a day can easily become ‘A hug a day, keeps the doctor away’.
∞ An extended hug raises the body’s serotonin levels which elevates your mood and creates happiness.
∞ You get an instant boost of the oxytocin hormone, which lowers your blood pressure and heals feelings of loneliness, isolation and anger.
∞ As a natural stress reliever, a good old ‘free for all’ hug releases muscle tension and increases your blood circulation.
 
This is only a mere snippet of how good a hug can be. It’s free and you can hug anytime, anywhere and gain instant and long term benefits. So why do people not hug so often and openly? This question can be a whole new topic, right. In my research I also discovered that there is an annual global a National hugging Day – January 21st! But don’t wait until then, go and hug someone right now. Take the time and be fully present, not just a quick 3-second hug, take a lot longer. See how long you can do it for. Be present, take note of what happens for you and the other person. What does it leave you with? If it’s a hot day, you may not want to do it for that long J. Let me know what you experience. Let me know if you are a hugger or not! And let me know if you would integrate that into your life (if you aren’t already doing so).
 
Whilst you are reading this, I am giving you a long heart-to-heart hug across cyber-space and sending you love.

Hugs
Ruth :)

Are you one that loves the comfort zone? One that never or hardly tries something totally new? Do you always take the same old route back home from your travels? I think I am one that mostly loves that good old comfy blanket, the old frayed one that should really go to charity, that’s been hanging around, falsely securing and warming me for decades and decades.
 
The older I get, the more I am letting go of the blanket. When I decided to step out of my abusive marriage a few years ago, I let go of a big piece of false security. Have you been getting wiser too, as you’re getting older and wiser and becoming truer to yourself?
 
Not so long ago I decided to really get rid of that comfy blanky – to let go of what’s been holding me back. Last Wednesday we arrived back home from 10 glorious days (thanks mostly to my oldest sister and her husband who gifted us with this long overdue trip) with my 2 youngest children. We had flown to Queensland, Australia and explored the beauty of the state with its many golden beaches and theme parks.
My 15 year old is a true thrill seeker when it comes to the rides at a theme park like ‘Wet & Wild’ – she’s definitely the only one in our family. Her words (approximate) to a friend of mine just this year that ‘Mum is a scaredy cat and boring because she never goes on rides with me – and I always have to go on them alone’ have been quietly nagging me. Even though I know everyone is different and we don’t all have to love the same things, I made a pact with myself that I would give her the joy of going on rides with her. After all,  (read more here) no-one wants to go down in history as being a ‘boring Mother’, right!
 
I didn’t tell her about this pact, but when she asked me, I confidently?:) said ‘yes, of course I’ll go on rides with you!’ Needless to say I had this internal conversation with myself the whole time we were standing in the queue, which appeared to be endless, for the first horror ride ‘Batwings Spaceshot’.  As I was writing this and wanting to explain to you what the ride is about, I decided to ‘google’ the exact explanation. This is how Movie World describes it! Imagine being shot 60 metres into the sky… 4.5Gs of extreme power! When it comes to adrenaline thrills, nothing comes close to Batwings Spaceshot. It’s one of the fastest thrill rides you’ll ever experience.’ (oh dear, I’m sure glad I didn’t google this before I went on the ride!).
 
The closer we got to the starting point (my 12 year old son gracefully succumbed to his fear at some point in the queue with the offer to look after the backpack’.
At about the same point, I decided to turn around and walk backwards so that I didn’t see how the people before us shot up into the air, although I could still hear their screams of ‘fear/exhilaration’. I was definitely not going to back out of this one and was about to face my fear and do it anyway. It was a surreal moment when it was our turn. I was as if in a dream. I told myself that surely it can’t be that bad, if all these people love it. I strapped myself in and gave a confident thumbs-up sign to my son who was filming it. ‘No way out now, I thought’ .
 
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The count down began and oh my goodness, I am actually feeling those feelings in the pit of my stomach as I write this! I instinctively closed my eyes as we shot into the air. From 60 metres above the ground with no window to lean against, I was not going to enjoy the scenery. Then we were down on the ground.  It last but a couple of minutes. I survived and the fear dissipated in an instant. It was safe and nothing happened to me.
Will I ever do this ride again? I don’t think so, but I can say that I have tried it and was willing to face my fear, to get out of my comfort zone – I tried something new, something out of the ordinary. I was able to grow from this experience – that in order to step into another phase of your life, you must be willing to do something that you are afraid of, to step into the unknown. I did not know how this experience of the Batwings Spaceshot would be until I tried it. I know now that those things that I would like to do in my life and business, can not be so daunting, as I imagine it to be. I have lots of great things planned for my life and  exciting programs to serve my clients with in 2016. Some of them are a big stretch for me, but I know now that I am able to feel the fear and do it anyway, by stepping out of my comfort zone.
By the way, I went on a further 2 rides that day, with pretty much the same apprehension and fear each time but I willed myself to do it and actually watched one of them full-on before it was our turn. I think if we had stayed longer and had more time to psyche myself up, I would have gone on another couple of scary ones!
 
Watch the video of how I faced my fear here. At the end watch out for my definite ‘NO’ shake of the head!
As always, I’d love to hear about you faced your fear, how you got out of your own way and stepped out of your comfort zone! If you haven’t been able to do so yet, I encourage you to do it – face the fear and do it anyway. If nothing comes of it, at least you will grown and have had a good laugh!